Great Quotes

One of my favorite quotes was during one of Harold and Lou's periodic falling outs. Lou was at wits end with Harold's sanctimonious and stubborn ways and Harold's health-food preaching was the last straw.

Lou Carpenter to Harold: "You can shove your mung beans where the sun don't shine!"

I'd be grateful if anyone knows what ep that line came from. A winner now repeated in my household at opportune moments.

Episode #5120: Siege the Day

There is a bang. Toadie looks like he's slipped on the steps but apparently he is SHOT. No dramatic screaming and backward flailing. Too early in the evening for that?

Perhaps he will die be and be buried with some trousers and old pizza boxes. Bob will sit on his grave and howl, it will be Erinsborough does Gundagai.

Zeke's tackling of the bad guy Guy (Guy, Gus, what's the deal here??) was well done. He looked just like a fearful kid lashing out. It was rather touching. How lucky that Rachel had ceased to exist for this episode, I'm sure that was a great comfort to Susan.

And so we bid farewell to a particularly fine year of Neighbours. Here's to 2007, may Janelle be crowned queen of Ramsay st.!

Episode #5119: Janelle's Christmas Ham

Zeke was so fraught over Katya being there for Christmas but come the day and where is Rachel? Did anyone even mention her?

Surely Rosie isn't so stupid as to think she, personally, sucked Paul away from Lyn. It it hadn't been her it would have been some other pretty skirt. But perhaps she really is that naive.

I don't know why Sky would bother mending bridges with Susan. A frosty civility is all it deserves. Sky should ask herself; if she fell into a similar ethical morass would Susan behave any differently? No she wouldn't, she and Karl can never remain objective and uninvested, judging is their nature.

Janelle's Christmas Ham.. I assume this refers to Steiger?

Episode #5118: Out For Christmas

A lot of doors opening for storylines next year.

Peppah's mum comes out to the bended knee of her ex. Uh huh. Neighbours is keeping up with the, umm, neighbours in tackling the issues of gay acceptance though of course this is only girl on girl stuff as that is more tantalizing. The time for Lou and Harold slash is not yet upon us.

Dylan and Sky might get back together though they no longer have "a spark". Perhaps if Dylan washed his hair and stopped lurching from side to side like an ape Sky would find him a little more sparkling.

Kim Timmins writes some lame note to Janelle about how he is doing the best thing for them by never returning. Too bad as he was a great character but Neighbours needs a stock of single females to keep it's romance stories ticking along. Janelle is vastly amusing married or not but I expect there will be more Janelle mirth to plumb with future suitors rather than as a nagging wife. So yay!

And finally a very touching tribute from Harold to David, Liljana and Serena. Last year he was celebrating the birth of Christ by strangling Paul Robinson but this year he settles for turning on the decorations and remembering his family.

swings like a girl

Okay, maybe there just wasn't enough time for another take but.. when Steph leapt from the car and rushed at Paul Robinson I expected something more. Instead we got the wide armed swing of a pissed off, well, girl. Come on Steph, where's the knock-em-dead punch of the old Woody days?

Episode #5117: In Sickness And In Elf

The Wedding ep, part 2

Paul takes the honey! And off Lyn goes to the Maldives with Oscar. Paul has finally woken up to his core nature and turned his back on the pretense of bothering with mowers and other respectable things. Let's just get on with what he enjoys and stop trying to squeeze the wowser version of real life into all the craziness. His little flirt with settling and values following his son's death has passed. Never mind Paul, we all do crazy things when trying to deal with tragedy.

All the best to Mrs. Lynette O'Rourke Sheergold Scully Robinson. Don't forget to slip slop slap!

Episode 5116: People Who Need Steeple

The Wedding ep, part 1.

Lyn Scully was a vision in a frosted blue jacquard wedding dress. The bridesmaids' dresses were a similar cut with the bodice matching the fabric of Lyn's dress. A very pretty colour, and a surprising lack of frou from Lyn Scully. All very lovely but the question still remains; what does Paul Robinson want with her? Of course he doesn't actually love her. There has been not nearly enough drama and unrequited chasing as provided by Izzy to stimulate him. Lyn is just his suburban prize, like a nice serviceable mower that says you are serious about your little plot in the cul-de-sac. Paul is an idiot not to know it, but I guess when you've been a party boy all your life you grasp at the mundane for your midlife crisis. My God, all these years I've been missing out on cocktail franks and BBQ aprons with tacky sayings, I must have them and I must have them NOW! To quote the dramatically departed Joe, "Lynnnnnnnie!!"

I wish I could feel sorry for Lyn Scully but I don't. She is marrying a man who set her up to take the fall in a business deal which led her to losing her house. A man who did not care that her child was losing his home. She falls for his excuses and faux vulnerabilities and she is much too old for that. It's embarrassing. She's an idiot for believing him and he's an idiot for saddling himself with her. On the bright side she might actually get a house out of the divorce.

Paul contemplates whether to take the honey or the box..

It would have been nice to see her marry Joe Mangel though. My bet is she would have cruised down the aisle with a touch of tiger print in her bridal train.

Flashback 2003: Afro Harold

"It's Harold here. I'm in the House,
of the Coffee shop where the food is Grouse.
There's sandwiches and lasagne too
Served with a smile, that part is true
I'm keepin' it real, you get a great deal
On a yummy snack, and that isn't wack
The food is great, we're open till late.
So don't be a McGuffin, come butter my muffin. Yo!"

You heard him. Go butter his muffin!

Serena, who's your Daddy?

Here's something that has probably never occurred to any one else on the planet except me and my other half who first brought it up. Serena Bishop is a George W. Bush lookalike. Yes I realise this may excite all kinds of paternity theories (Liljana, what a colourful past!) That is not my intent in posting these shocking pictures. No, I merely want everyone else to see what bothered me about Serena every single minute she was on screen.

Check out these comparisons and be amazed.

And how about these two!

Convinced yet?





What does it mean? Was Liljana Bush's mistress some 18 years ago? Or perhaps, and this is hard to even contemplate, Svetlanka and Dubya were engaged in some diplomatic relations. It is hard, especially when looking at the well put together Laura Bush, to imagine Dubya finding anything appealing about Svetlanka. It is hard to imagine anyone finding anything appealing about Svetlanka.. but never mind that. Serena, your DNA questions are sadly lost at the bottom of the Tasman unless the scriptwriters decide otherwise.

Countdown

Yesterday we got our first taste of the 2006 season finale. I've been wondering what it could possibly be after my confident assertion that "it will be the birth of Sky's baby" was very wrong. Certainly no baby has ever been born peacefully on Ramsay st and little Kerry's birth was no exception.. baby drama AND fire weeks before the finale! How to top that?

Apparently with a Moment of Truth at the Altar scene. And hostages. Whee!

This is similar to 2005 in that the most dramatic moments were played out prior to the finale. It is more satisfying than a cliffhanger because you have been caught by the drama and moved along into it already, rather than just waiting the summer out to see who lives or dies. I wasn't exactly sweating after 2003 to see if Harold survived falling by the side of the road like a sack of potatoes.

Episode #5115 Cry Fidelity

Oh! Poor Elle, so disrespected by her boyfriend who won't let her watch his newborn daughter. The nerve of Dylan and that skank Sky! Paul and Lyn must comfort the poor dear and at last she sees that Dylan is not good enough for her. Why would anyone not trust her with their sweet little baby? Why all she's done is leave the Hoyland infant in the middle of the road in his pram, pretend she had a fatal disease, steal the Hoyland infant from his cot, poison her step-mother Izzy, lose the toddler Oscar.. she's a perfect step-girlfriend-mother for little Kerry.

"I only want what's best for US Dylan.."

Quartet

It has often been painful to watch the introduction of new characters into the Ramsay st. milieu. Bad acting, hackneyed lines, and an odd awkwardness have dogged some newbies. I was surprised by the sudden injection of four new people into Ramsay st this year, simultaneously no less. It's been very successful with a lot of natural repartee. Two characters so far have a connection to a previous Ramsay denizens (or so it stands at the moment). Rosetta Cammeniti is Carmella's sister and turning out to be the strongest of the four new faces. Frazer is intrigueing (and very much Darcy potential). Will is so far not much more than a Frazer shadow, his Big Secret that Daddy is rich doesn't exactly suck me in. Ooooooh, will he reject Daddy's money? Probably, people are incredibly stupid on television in the name of cartoon ethics. Pepper, who's name is pronounced "Peppa" in that very Australian dropping of the "r", is cute. Her dad is The Cop, Steiger. There isn't much more to say about her, though her liveliness is an improvement on past Neighbours blonds. Oh and her mum is gay. There was even an almost-kissing scene. More on that later!

Episode #5114 The Search for Mr. Darcy

Rosie reveals her search for Austen's swoon-cake, Mr. Darcy, to Paul Robinson. Next thing she knows she's found her Mr. Darcy but unbeknown to her he has more in common with Dr. Darcy Tyler than Elizabeth Bennett's beau.

See the remarkable resemblance?

Left, Dr. Darcy Tyler.........Right, Paul Robinson

A highlight of this episode was Toadie doing a very bad Yoda impression. Other than roundness of face the two have nothing in common and Toadie should watch his back..

In The Beginning

Neighbours first went to air on Australian television March 18, 1985 and has long been the ubiquitous cobber of homegrown drama. Ratings are going strong with no sign of Ramsay st. suffering a decline and yet bizarrely it is very difficult to find anyone who will admit to watching Neighbours. A scoff, a rolling of the eyes, perhaps some tutting at the vacuous nature of soap operas, this is what greets anyone game enough to volunteer being a Neighbours fan. And yet amazingly everyone knows who Harold Bishop is. How do they know him? Oh it seems they were once forced to take in a bit of Neighbours because their child, sibling, mother insisted on having it on. Poor things.

Though we begin this blog as the 2006 season draws to a close there will be plenty to talk about during the Neighbours free summer. But before we get into funky character analyzes we have a few more episode reviews before the dramatic cliffhanger ending. What will it be? Personally I'm still waiting for Dee to emerge from the river.